Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
