my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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