I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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