9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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