I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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