I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
