I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
