haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Panties = found
Randomize
