I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
