You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
