Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week

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(423): View more from Tennessee

We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.

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(229): View more from Georgia

They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME

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(651): View more from Minnesota

No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

She still started it.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.

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(917): View more from New York City

I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day

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(630): View more from Illinois

Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.

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