oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize