mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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