he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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