i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
