Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
