her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
