think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
