Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
