The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
