Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
