Plan B is the new Plan A
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
