Whod you bang
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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