Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
