I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
