thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I want her autograph on my taint
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
