so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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