How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
