I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
