No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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