I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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