that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
