Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
did you just send me my own nude
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
