Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
