do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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