we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
