just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
