My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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