holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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