no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize