Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize