How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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