ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
