I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
