I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
