tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
