foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
