just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
