just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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