It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
