Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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