No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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