Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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