I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
