just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
