It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize