we have pet lesbian snakes
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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