Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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