i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
