He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
