The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
