She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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