oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
