There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
