She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
